Mud wrestling for writers - 3 stories of failure and recovery

We’d all like to think there’s some way to avoid falling on our faces as creative people. Perhaps there are some more realistic goals to shoot for instead. I learned these the hard way, so you don’t have to. Get dirty, but stay proud!

1. Avoid pretend progress

I dragged my feet writing a nonfiction book proposal for two years. A professional editor friend looked it over and told me I was 95% of the way there.

I finished it in two weeks, finally believing I could do it.

2. Invite rejection

I made a list of 50 agents to approach and put them in a spreadsheet. I'd message five a day with a customized pitch letter. There was a strange satisfaction in racking up the rejections or lack of replies. I was in the mix. I was doing it!

Ten days later, I had an agent (#24!). And then, a few months later, my first book contract.

3. Put the love of the work first

Twenty years ago, I worked on a movie script with a collaborator. We created a magical story and characters, but the partnership collapsed in bitter acrimony.

Twelve years later, I re-approached her.

We started again, this time with our story as a TV pilot and proposal. More conflict. But then... a finished product.

Over the next year, we had in-person meetings in L.A. with Warner Bros, Imagine Entertainment and one of the top talent agencies. Even interest from a production team representing a certain former President.

It never sold. But still, I never could have imagined we’d get that far. I learned *so much.* I’m still *so proud* of what we made.

Take the trash outside, where it belongs

I've had so many failures. Full-length books I never published. Websites I built and deleted. Courses I taught and closed. Financial strain and stress. Even a bankruptcy after taking a huge risk; selling, writing and promoting my first book.

As a writer, there will be many times when you'll hit a wall and feel like giving up.

The hard truth is, there are no guarantees that anyone will ever care about anything you make. But…

The antidote to despair?

Find fuel in the act of creation itself.

In the wisps that you pulled out of the ether and worked your ass off to shape into something tangible.

What you made is proof of your hard work, resilience and determination.

The life of a writer requires all your stubborn courage and wild joy. Give yourself permission to follow the path and stop waiting for someone else to validate you with their magic wand.

(Thanks to Fardin Amar on Unsplash for the image.)