The lost art of simple joys
You wake up, check the clock and the race begins. You do the math and plot out the day, bracing yourself for all the things you need to get done. Pumping up your energy and resolve, you reassure yourself, I can do this!
You grab some caffeine. Cut a few corners getting ready. Curse the little things that go wrong.
That’s modern life, right?
But feeling so consistently overwhelmed isn’t sustainable — or healthy. According to the American Psychological Association:
“More than one-third of adults report that their stress increased over the past year. Twenty-four percent of adults report experiencing extreme stress, up from 18 percent the year before.”
Our incredible shrinking brains
No one is guaranteed a long life, so if you’re unhappy with the days flying by, any time is a great time to make a change.
Consider this: high levels of chronic stress actually change your brain — and not for the better.
When your nervous system is freaking out, your body pumps out cortisone to help you fight off an imaginary tiger. But all that stress has physical consequences:
“Memory ability is impaired. Brain degeneration and cognitive decline accelerate. Many neurons are actually killed. ...Chronic high levels of cortisone change the neural circuitry that regulates its release. In other words, the brain learns a new way of functioning when constantly bathed in high levels of cortisone.”
So what happens if you can never outrun the tiger?
Lucky for you, one solution to this complex problem is hidden in the days you already have.
Waking up on the right side of the bed
There’s a Japanese concept called Ikigai, which is roughly translated as Iki (life) gai (purpose). It advocates a deliberate focus on the things that are most important to you and give your days value and meaning.
Ikigai is different from counting your blessings (then forgetting them!) because it’s not theoretical, it’s experiential.
These moments only need a few seconds of extra attention and intention to occur — not reserves of willpower, a gratitude journal or hours of therapy.
Let’s imagine a different start to your morning:
The alarm goes off. You wake up and mentally review your to do list.
But — mixed in with your responsibilities is the excitement of some of the little things you’re looking forward to doing.
Imagining these happy moments puts a tiny smile on your face. And then, as your day unfolds, you do them. Easily! That’s because they’re already a natural part of your daily rhythm.
Here’s an example….
As you drink your cup of coffee, you look out the window at the gray day and savor the feeling of being warm and cozy inside your home. Your gaze lingers on your partner’s sleepy face, adorable and sweetly vulnerable.
As you brush your child’s hair, you catch their eye in the mirror and give them a little smile; your love for their wonderful, quirky self makes your heart swell.
Checking work email for a project you really care about, you spend an extra minute or two lost in thought, pondering some new ideas that excite you.
Now is always the perfect time to start
If reading about the changes that your brain undergoes due to chronic stress earlier has actually stressed you out, here’s some good news.
Simple moments of reflection and the absence of striving literally helps your brain heal and recover:
“The participants spent an average of 27 minutes per day practicing mindfulness exercises, and this is all it took to stimulate a major increase in gray matter density in the hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with self-awareness, compassion, and introspection. McGreevey adds: ‘Participant-reported reductions in stress also were correlated with decreased gray-matter density in the amygdala, which is known to play an important role in anxiety and stress.’”
You can borrow some of the same benefits that meditation provides, though perhaps on a smaller level. Nevertheless, even incremental changes add up.
There’s so much media noise these days about increasing our productivity — which is supposed to lead to a higher income, better possessions and somehow, more time and freedom.
But the research doesn’t really bear this out:
“Study after study by psychologists has shown that there is no correlation between wealth and happiness. The only exception is in cases of real poverty, when extra income does relieve suffering and brings security. But once our basic material needs are satisfied, our level of income makes little difference to our level of happiness.”
No one will reward you later for postponing your joy, so have it now.
Happiness comes from being present.
We’re often so busy trying to get somewhere else in the hopes that, once we get there, we’ll finally be able to relax and just be.
But our lives are always here, just waiting for us to stop and take in the simple moments.
That’s where you’ll find your biggest joys.
